Day 12: Why Emotional Intelligence Is More Important Than You Think
As a society, do we undervalue the importance of Emotional Intelligence?
When we talk about intelligence, we usually are referring to how 'textbook smart' someone is. We associate it with an IQ score and a persons' ability to problem solve as well as acquire and utilise knowledge. Think logic and reason.
In a society made up of social groups (families, teams, friends, partnerships) we don't talk about or value a person's Emotional Intelligence (EI/ EQ). It is defines as a persons ability to perceive and understand emotions. More than that, it is the ability to identify emotions, both within yourself and others, and one's ability to monitor and manage them.
We all have a different base line for how open and comfortable we are talking about emotions. I'm blown away by the openness to mindfulness, self development and psychological talk that has permeated every day life. It's amazing that as a society we are more comfortable than ever to bring up mental health, see online-therapy sponsor every YouTube video out there (the ones I watch at leas), and have the common language to discuss our feelings in ways that didn't exist before. When I was a kid emotions were stuffed down deep in the crevices of ones soul. They were not openly discussed, or if they were with one's closest confidants, they were at least filtered to ensure it fit societal acceptance (Side note: the 'Emo's' were ahead of their time).
While it's now more accepted to embrace emotions and their tangible effects on our behaviour, it's still not valued or prioritised in many aspects of life. Work places put undue emphasis on degrees and diplomas. The education system puts standardised scores ahead of emotional literacy. Even families may value a gold medal or school ranking over the feelings of their child.
But here's the thing, the skill that makes people stand out, connect deeper and demonstrate being an overall stand up human being is Emotional Intelligence.
A higher EQ helps us to grow relationships, reduce stress, defuse conflict ridden situations and can give us greater life satisfaction.
And the best part is, you don't have to be born with it. We are all capable of developing the ability to be more emotionally literate, whatever our baseline. Taking the time to cultivate it can help us function higher than we think we are capable of.
A mindfulness based Leadership course I used to be part of, boiled down the benefits of EI as follows:
Wellbeing: Those that have higher EQ demonstrate higher levels of happiness and life satisfaction. From understanding personal impulses and how to manage and monitor emotions to knowing when and how to help others, these are skills that EQ helps with.
Stellar Performance: By understanding others and the situation, those with high EQ can navigate the room more effectively and better collaborate with others.
Outstanding Leadership: Leaders with higher EQ, show more empathy and ability to connect with individuals. Many people define a good leader as one who is authentic and caring. These leaders are able to more easily lead others, and are shown to have better ability to create a respectful, inclusive, and trusting environment where people can thrive.
So how do we start to cultivate Emotional Intelligence? I promise to give this one the justice it deserves. But to start, it all begins with Self Awareness. Self Awareness is the foundational competency that allows EQ to grow.
Self awareness is understanding our impulses, default habit patterns and our own emotions in relation to our environment. It’s only when we become more familiar with ourselves, that we can extend this to understanding and empathy towards others.
Relationships can shift, conversations can become deeper and richer and we can learn more about each other if we are more in tune with our own and others emotions.
If we are each more curious about our own emotions, we are starting the process of growing our EQ and valuing it in the relationships and interactions we have.
