The Most Important Lessons I Learnt From Moving Countries
I always knew I'd move countries and experience living in a new city. My whole childhood I was absorbed by the idea of traveling and immersed myself into different cultures, through tv shows, food and books. I'm lucky to live in a country where there are so many pockets of immigrants who bless us with accessible authentic food and cultural experiences. School in the 90s was big on "multiculturalism" and "multicultural days" where we were often exposed to different and interesting cultural educations. The intentions were good but of course, we've since moved on from that sort of language, given the tokenism that it exhibits without confronting the core behaviours and racism that we need to stop.
I spent most of my money in my teens and twenties traveling and going to new places. I'd also been to Singapore, my home for a few years, numerous times before. I didn't expect to feel culture shock and learn the lessons that I did.
While I was familiar with the country, (having visited for numerous work trips, as well as layovers for personal trips) after living and working there a few months, I began to experience culture shock. It was not immediate and it took time for me to see the subtle but very distinct mindset and way of life in my new home.
So reflecting over the last year, these are the biggest lessons that I've taken away from moving countries
Acknowledge Differences, Be Humble
Beauty, culture, language are all abstract things. Living in one place too long, we begin to believe that there is one acceptable definition of how to operate and be successful. This also goes for what is "cool", and what is an acceptable way to show love or be friends. If you try to take your home mindset and apply it to a new environment, you are setting yourself up for shock. On a superficial level, fashion, trends and celebrities are different. Outside of the superficial, how people behave inside the office and outside, how they spend their time and how they interact with each other can all be noticeably different.
As a visitor and outsider, I understood it was so important to respect the differences in culture and inevitably differences in values too. I listened more than I spoke and followed the lead of my local friends when trying something new. If it didn't sit right with me, I would know to avoid that situation for next time.
Home Is Where The Heart Is
Half of my time in Singapore was plagued my Covid-19. This meant that I was isolated in my studio apartment for almost 5 months, often going weeks without seeing another face in person. These were the darkest and hardest times for me to navigate, as a worker without immediate family or close friends close by. It's heartening to know that the world has since acknowledged how much of an effect physically seeing and being with other people can impact our mental health, and hopefully no-one has to experience isolation like that again. I felt so far from home, I almost became a shell of myself and didn't know who I was. The contrast to the fun and lively Singapore I had known before, made my realise that I was surviving in a foreign land, but that it wasn't home for me.
Being without my family or my partner during this time, made me realise that my home and my values and preferred way of life, if everything was stripped away, were back in Sydney. Home is where the people care and look out for you the most. It's where you can connect with nature that calls out to you and make you feel the divinity. This is something I will never take for granted again.
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I still love to travel, and am excited about the prospects to travel more unbeaten paths soon. But I've realised that I can do that with a safe home base and be content with the country that I call home, surrounded by my loved ones. What a blessing.
Some lessons we learn are small. They are little reminders along the way of what truly matters, and I see my experience in Singapore as a part of my personal development. Diving into the deep end with no network and having to set up from scratch gave me confidence and new found appreciation for people that take the chance. I met amazing people, and landed some great life-long friends while living in Singapore, and for that alone I am grateful.
I don't think I'd appreciate home as much if I hadn't have left. In this way, the experience of living in Singapore was a huge lesson that fundamentally changed the course of my life.
