Spring Time Reflections

Here comes a brain dump of things that are on my mind and heart lately.

Hello Spring

The shifting of the worlds’ axis and the start of September means the arrival of a new season. It’s only the first week of Spring, the days already feel longer and the air less frosty. As the weather warms up, flower buds blossom into vibrant colours, and birds chirp in the trees. It’s all a good reminder of the reality of constant change that each passing day brings. While I often feel anxiety at the uncertainty of the future, I am able to catch myself and find comfort that things are shifting and will make sense in due time.

I’ve always been excited by change and new experiences, places and things. I would actively seek change and opportunity in past years, but I’m finding a lot of comfort in being still. The ability to be content my surroundings, from the way the morning light dances across my living room to the accumulation of words on a page, has been oddly soothing. I've found myself feeling grateful for small, everyday moments that used to go by unnoticed.

Thanks to the warmer nights air, I’ve been walking at night more often. The well lit pathways close to the Glebe foreshore provide a stunning vantage point to see the city lights. I find it calming to see the glimmer of the night lights reflect on the waters surface. While I often go for walks in the day to think and clarify my thoughts, I don’t necessarily think at night. Walking in the dark, I just feel calmer and present.

Health

The last few months, I’ve really been on a health related rabbit hole. What started as a routine GP visit spurred on by a bout of bronchitis and a particularly nasty ear infection, turned into a full on body screening and multiple follow ups due to some abnormal blood results. Next thing I knew I had referrals to no less than three specialists which has really kicked my focus on health into fifth gear.

An endocrinologist for hormonal abnormalities, a blood specialist to determine whether I have an autoimmune disorder, and an Ear Nose and Throat Specialist to deal with a recurring ear infection, I feel like a specimen that’s being diced up for observation. I’m lucky that I am able to access these resources and specialists, when so many others in the world don’t have these services easily available.

It’s a blessing in disguise that I was able to start the process of having my health checked and the opportunity to course correct.

If you’re reading this, this is your sign to go get that routine blood work and don’t put off going to a Doctor.

Travel

I’m flying to Korea soon, to see family members I haven’t seen in a decade. It will be a huge family gathering to celebrate my Grandmother’s 90th birthday. What a milestone, and what a life she has lived. It’s also amazing to see that her offspring - 6 sons and a daughter - are now located and thriving all across the world. It makes me want to continue to thrive and try to do better.

Connection

As the days of Covid pandemic lockdowns become a distant memory, I can’t help but feel severely impacted and changed by my experience of the events. The focus on social distancing, the polarisation of people on the grounds of ideas and beliefs as well as the always looming social media have resulted in the world make me feel more than a little socially anxious to jumping right back into the world. While Sydney has been home most of my life, the city feels so filled with strangers and people who don’t necessarily hold the same values I did growing up.

It’s so ironic that we can be surrounded by so many people and yet feel so utterly alone.

—

I’m still figuring a lot of things out and nothing comes overnight. I’m hoping to have made a few changes and have some more updates next time.