Embracing Action By Giving Back Instead of Giving Up
I left my corporate job at the end of 2022. I had the desire to work on being more creative and an intention to finally make good head way on the novel I’d been tinkering with for almost a year. I had a romanticised notion, of what my days would look like, without the endless team meetings, forecast calls and company priorities that bombarded my week as a full-time employee in the Tech machine. I’d be free to wake up calmly, slowly brew a cup of coffee, enjoy the aromas and finally have the space to write for hours on end (hah!).
The first month was honestly cathartic. I focused on listening to my body, adjusted my sleep patterns (to actually get a good nights sleep) and I finally had the time to organise my personal life. I wrote to friends I hadn’t had the time to connect with and I called my mom. The life stocktake kept me busy, and feeling productive, distracting me from the fact that I had left a huge chunk of my identity and purpose behind in the corporate Tech world.
In the second and third months, the grieving and fear started. Grief for the life and challenges I had pursued. Doubts infiltrated my mind like covert intruders. What had I done, forsaking the security and comforts of a stable job - And for what purpose? Suddenly, the once-promising novel I had such passion and excitement for, morphed into an insurmountable challenge. The pressure to make the project a success, worthy as a reason to leave my respectable and lucrative career, defeated me and shot my motivation down. The (self imposed) pressure made me freeze. Suddenly this once overachiever was immobile and incapable of focusing or seeing any task through to completion.
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Let me go back.
Throughout my existence, I fully embraced the mantle of structure imposed by schools, organisations or companies. I’d even go as far as to call myself a check-box project managing aficionado. As a student, I revelled in constructing timelines, meticulously planning each week to conquer the rigorous demands of student life. This trait seamlessly translated into my professional life as I moved into Operations roles within large multinational companies strongly developing my ability to organise and streamline processes. The sudden absence of a structure, external deadlines and expectations thrust me into a vulnerable, introspective state. I grappled with questions of my own competence, my true talents and aspirations, and what I genuinely desired from life. Who was I without the structure..?
The uncertainty had taken a toll on me by the fifth month. I was wasting away each day consuming junk media and TV shows and also - literally wasting away. The gym was used to numb myself, instead of building my strength.
It was at this point that I turned a corner. Sick of the hopelessness I felt, and scaring myself into thinking about how much time had passed, I made a conscious decision to stop feeling self pity and fear and move into action.
How? I stopped thinking about myself, and my experience. I shifted my focus outwardly, and looked at who I could actually help. Which communities I could join and amplify.
I used my energy to start attending meet-ups, even creating my own to help people dealing with Eating Disorders or Body image issues by creating an online meditation session to create community and connect.
Focusing on community and how I could contribute to others lives in a positive way gave me a renewed sense of self confidence.
From my experience, these are some reasons you should consider giving back, when you feel like giving up. It may give you a new zest and purpose, no matter your situation.
Perspective shifting / expanding
Focusing on giving back shifted my perspective on my current situation. There is so much gratitude and optimism generated, when you are able to connect or use your skills for good. Volunteering allowed me to engage with an amazing variety of people through meet-ups and community events. This fostered an invaluable sense of belonging and support. Exchanging stories, insights, and personal challenges helped alleviate the isolation and ambiguity that had engulfed me during those initial months.
Inspiration from new situations
Participating in meet-ups opened the gateway to a treasure trove of wisdom and fresh perspectives. It allowed me to connect with people from all walks of life. The diverse range of experiences and expertise provided me with invaluable insights, sparking a cascade of new ideas and expanding the horizons of my creative pursuits.
Motivation to keep going
Providing support upon others without expecting anything back, whether by organising events or lending a compassionate ear, enabled me to share my own insights and allowed my to reevaluate how I wanted to live my life. This self reflection bolstered my self-confidence, reinforcing my sense of purpose and reaffirming my self worth and patience with my endeavors.
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We live in such a self absorbed world, it is easy to get stuck in the egoistic way of wanting more, expecting more. This is the sure fire way to fall into a state of frozen debilitating fear. Making a commitment to make positive ripples outside of yourself, and giving back in any way you are able to, can greatly increase your ability to show kindness and compassion toward your own situation. This will help you regain the energy to continue on your path.
