Day 7: The Key to Optimism is Embracing Change
The only true constant is change. You may have heard or even used this adage in your life or work. On surface level, it makes sense but how open and accepting are we to this reality. The you of yesterday is different from you today, let alone yesteryear.
We like to be in control and assume that we will be the pilot in the sea of change. For many of us, Covid-19, the global political stage and an environmental catastrophe provided huge reality checks. It's never been more obvious that so many aspects of life and living are controlled by circumstances outside of our control. Mixed with fear and constant uncertainty, the past few years have left many of us feeling hopeless, unsure and stuck. The waiting game is no fun, when you don't know how long you are expected to wait.
The reality is, we don't know what tomorrow will bring. We can assume based on days, weeks and months past how tomorrow will play out, we may expect that we will feel "normal" and jump into our regular routine, but we could also wake up to face a monumental life change. This is not intended to be confronting, but rather to highlight that what we have in this moment could shift.
Change is an opportunity. An opportunity for growth, connections and choice.
In my 10 day Vipassana experience, one of the main precepts was the fleeting nature of all experiences and sensations. Pain, joy, sadness, happiness - none of these are permanent. This may sound super existential and counterproductive in the journey to better respond to change, but it helps us to detach ourselves to outcomes and take each moment as a stepping stone into the next.
Here are a few reasons why embracing change can help us become more optimistic, even when things aren't going our way:
Growth: It gives us a mindset for learning and an ability to acknowledge that while things may be difficult now, it is not permanent. On the flip side, it can help us take stock of what is going well now, so we can learn to expand upon it in the future.
Creativity: We can problem solve and change our approach to situations in our life. This can lead to better or at least different outcomes by becoming more adaptable to change. As Einstein popularly said, the definition of insanity is doing the same things and expecting different results. In the same vein, I say insanity is hoping for the same outcomes and being in denial of the possibility of change.
Confidence: By trusting the process, and not holding onto factors that could (and most likely will) inevitably shift, you are developing an internal sense of empowerment. This will make you more optimistic as you gain confidence in yourself being capable to adapt to changing circumstances.
Accepting change can help you to see the world differently.
A trait of pessimists is assuming there is nothing they can do - and they will ultimately give up. You want to be an optimist! Optimistic people don't see a set back or changing situation as 'The End'. Rather, it is a stepping stone into the next moment.
If you (or someone you know) fears change, try some of these exercises to make yourself or the other person more comfortable to the idea of it.
Visualisation Meditation: Choose a scenario or aspect in your life, and imagine a factor that causes it to shift. Visualise the situation and observe how the change makes you feel. Break down the experience to physiological sensations with a lens of kindness and curiosity. The goal is to desensitise yourself to the emotions that fear and avoidance can bring. The more we can get comfortable with these feelings, the faster we can get to a new mindset.
Journal your fears: What about the change or uncertainty makes you uncomfortable? What is the worst possible outcome, and what could you do about it? Writing these out can help to organise your thoughts, and often put things into perspective. You may even find yourself encouraging yourself (yes, very Meta) through your written words, helping yourself find a silver lining.
Change the chatter: Try changing the dialogue and feelings you have attached to change. Do you shut down in the face of difficulty and unforeseen situations? You may feel hesitant and discomfort, but see if you can shift the label to excitement or determination. Consciously shifting your mindset can help you reinterpret the whole situation. You are more in control of your world than you think.
It's by accepting that things are always changing, that we can normalise it, and have an optimistic outlook on life.
This can translate to less resistance, and a more hopeful and proactive approach to unforeseen situations.
We each have the power to see every situation as a new and fresh opportunity. Even if the change wasn't our first choice.
