Day 5: How I Overcame Burnout And What I Wish I Knew Earlier
Growing up, hard work and discipline were drilled into me. Don't feel like studying? Study anyway. Want a leisurely Saturday with friends? After Korean School, or the extra-curriculum activities. You must constantly override your impulses to do the tasks that are productive and contribute to future success. It was all part of being the prodigal daughter and seeking the approval of those around me. And I never pushed back. In fact, I welcomed the structured, predetermined milestones of 'success'. While the discipline also benefitted me in many ways, years later I can see that it contributed to my ability (or inability) to set boundaries and listen to my gut.
Fast forward a decade and I was in a cycle of work never seeming to end. While I didn't know it at the time, I realise that I was the textbook definition of Burnt. Out. Burnout is a state of mental, emotional and physical, exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress, typically in the workplace. In my case, exacerbated by a global pandemic, family trauma and high workplace pressure. It began to manifest itself through increased detachment from work, cynicism and unsustainable overworking. I'm by nature a very optimistic person, so it was like my body had been implanted with a new personality.
So what are the antidotes? And what would I have done differently with the luxury of hindsight?
Here are 5 simple strategies grounded in Stoic philosophy to prevent burnout - or help you navigate out of it:
Know your locus of control
We need to know and be realistic about what aspects of our life we can control, and more importantly what we can't. It's not productive to stress about an outcome we have no influence over.
In my daily journalling, I will sometimes list out things that are affecting me, and label them as 'internal' or 'external'. That is, if the thing is within my control or not. If I've identified it is external or outside of my control, I now know it's not a productive stress and I work to consciously let it go or focus on the things I can control.
2. Be Aware of Your Boundaries
I've alluded to my young self working for approval and validation. Here's the issue, working for the approval of others means you're more likely to compromise your time, wellbeing and priorities for these other people. It's only when you are conscious of your boundaries, that you can set clear expectations for those around you and give yourself grace to be the best version of yourself.
In my time as a President of my local Toastmasters club, I gave up a lot of my boundaries to ensure that everyone had a good experience. Even if I didn't have the bandwidth with my day job, I'd prioritise other club members' schedules and pick up their slack without delegating tasks to other members. Eventually I found being transparent about needs and asking for volunteers, led to more engaged club members and a whole lot better outcomes for everyone.
3. Practice Negative Visualisation
Okay, so this sounds counter intuitive and well... negative. But visualising what could go wrong, or the outcome of not doing that thing, can help you accept whatever outcome. It's wise to think through scenarios rather than be ignorant and hope 'for the best'. Doing this, allows us to let go of good or bad labels, and accept whatever happens.
I practiced this when making the decision to leave my job. What is the worst thing that could happen? I run out of savings or have a huge unexpected expenditure (I'm sorting out unforeseen house plumbing issues as I write), and I get kicked out of my home. Worst case, my partner and I move in with family who would house and feed us. I can feel myself recoil as I imagine this. However even if that did happen, I have confidence in my ability to get back on my feet as needed. Going down this visualisation helped me make a difficult decision, let go of my fear and take a huge risk.
4. Check In With Yourself Early and Often
Martin Seligman, is a psychologist who is touted as being the father of positive psychology. In his groundbreaking work, he speaks to the importance of finding meaning and purpose, whatever your career path. It's only then that we can find alignment in our lives. For many of us, we fail to take the time to check in at regular points to ensure there is alignment within our work to our values. You're far less likely to feel burn out, if you feel connected and purpose in your work, even if some tasks can seem mundane at surface level.
Checking in can be daily, weekly or monthly, but it's beneficial to have a regular cadence. This practice of checking in often can support us become aware of ourselves within our environment and ultimately give us more clarity and empowerment.
5. Prioritise Rest and Recovery
Let's be clear that stress itself isn't inherently a bad thing, and in fact can be a great motivator to help us be alert and perform. It's the ongoing or chronic stress that will impact our wellbeing. To counter this, it is important that we schedule in and honor time for rest and recovery. For you, it could mean more sleep each night, or more nights in to allow yourself to recenter, or maybe having a board games night with your friends to laugh your stress away. It's all good and all so important.
I used to forgo hours of sleep, to fit in late night socialising and early morning workout for years. Rest was something I could do on holidays (which ironically I never booked). It's only when I was burnt out that I truly recognised the importance of these recuperating activities on my overall wellbeing and quality of life.
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I wouldn't wish the mindset or impact of burnout on my worst enemy. The reality is, in our fast paced society, we often succumb to it or worse generate unproductive and harmful habits to help us cope with it. By each of us being true to ourselves and being aware of our environments, I believe we can avoid the harmful impact of burn out and the negative ripples it causes to those around us.
