Day 10: I traveled to India for 4 months in my early 20s, and here’s how it changed me
"Travel changes you. It should change you. It leaves marks on your memory, on your consciousness, on your heart, and on your body. You take something with you. Hopefully, you leave something good behind."
- Anthony Bourdain
About a decade ago, I was lucky enough to travel to India for a close friends' sister's wedding. The wedding was a week long (super extravagant) affair, after which, we decided to extend the trip and venture into a road trip across various states across India. From a little red little fiat, we saw lush greens, golden dusty soils, scorching sun and the most breath-taking architectural feats. The culture shock of experiencing India with all your senses for the first time will never leave you.
When people say they experience sensory overload from being in the subcontinent, you cannot fathom what they are saying until you go there. It hits you like walking into an invisible wall. The density of traffic, crowds of people, stray animals, buzzing food stalls with tantalising fumes of spices. It a sea of activity and humanity flowing and working together in a rhythm unique to India. Each state and area so different. The jagged clash of rich and poor, in many ways so obvious and yet also so fluid and connected. It was common to see a Louis Vuitton store neighbouring a poor residential tent-slum, and a cow or two crossing the main road ahead of a Lamborghini.
While at the time, I was so in-the-moment with my main focus being, well... staying alive, for years after the trip, my dreams would contain scenery or memories (sights, smells, tastes) from the experience. I can say with certainty, that amongst many of my global trips, India was one of my most defining and most raw experiences. It was responsible for really opening my eyes to a different way of life and living. In many ways, it also made me appreciate the opportunities and structure that I had growing up - although I often miss the stimulation and undiluted reality of being in India.
I can distill the lasting effects of that trip to the following reflections:
Opened my eyes to different ways of living
India broke down my paradigms of rules and expectations on many levels. Growing up in such a structured country like Australia, Japan and Korea in my youth, we get so accustomed to people following rules and adhering to societal expectations. We walk on the left and god forbid, we stand on the left hand side of an escalator to let people pass. Don't act strangely or make loud noises in public or be at the wrath of severe deathly stares. In many of these developed societies, we feel the right to judge people based on what the greater population deems polite and right, not their character or who they are. My experience in India was nothing short of honest, organised chaos. There were no rules of operating. People prayed on the side walks, cars drove on both sides of a street and parking was anywhere to the side you could stop a car (bonus points, if it didn't disrupt the flow of traffic). People just adapted and got on with it. There is a beauty and art in the different approaches to life, and I truly became obsessed with travel and new cultures.
Made me more open to go with the flow (stew less, adapt more)
You can plan all you like but when things go wrong on any trip, especially in a tiny red fiat in the middle of a tiger forest, you need to jump into action mode.
We all have expectations of how we wish things went that don't play out and we can be upset and stunted by it - or change our tactic and try something new. You can't hold on to how things should be or control how we wish someone would act. I'm totally a creature of habit and I still plan and have expectations of how things should go, I'm far more open to taking in the situation and changing my course of action.
During the trip, many times, we had to go with a plan C or even D, asking locals for help and tips to find things, or directions that we needed. We missed flights, lost our bags and asked for favours, and in the end it turned out alright.
Focus more on the similarities between people
Every person, in every culture and country are doing the best they can with what they have. We can easily judge or assume the intent of other people as negative purely because they are different. This is the definition of a closed off world view and a huge loss to growth and the cultivation of compassion. People may have different values and priorities in life, but the reality is, people are way more similar than we think.
In many villages, we connected with and met people who were welcoming and kind despite our language barriers. They had minimal possessions, and often one room for 7 or more family members, yet they gave us water, offered food and smiled. Parents worked to feed and shelter their children. Children just wanted to play and hang out with friends. They experienced the same emotions of happiness, sadness, jealousy, regret just like us. We are the same, save for the countries and circumstances we are born into. That's a humbling thought.
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Final reflections
I travelled through India with 3 friends and we talked openly and vulnerably about what we wanted to do and be in our lives. The shared experiences and conversations bonded us and provided a safety net that made the trip that much more rich and exciting. In a foreign country of a billion, we felt like we were on a trip of a lifetime, always teetering on the edge of the unknown.
As an effect of the trip, I became more conscious about how I spend my time and the type of people I wanted to spend my time with. I realised the importance of having a network of people who value openness to self development and growth.
India helped me on a path to understand the things that truly matter, and gave me the courage to act on them. These are lessons that I carry with me in the next chapters of my life. Hopefully I share these lessons and embody them for the new people I continue to meet along the way.
