The Hard Cure To Loneliness
Loneliness. It’s a word that carries a (quiet) weight, one we often don’t like to admit that we’re experiencing to ourselves, let alone out loud. But the truth is, loneliness isn’t just a personal feeling—we’ve heard recently from the WHO that it’s an epidemic. Modern life can be isolating, with all its busyness and distractions. Even in moments surrounded by people, many of us can feel a desire for deeper connections.
For me, this reality hit harder as a new mom. The highs and challenges of motherhood are immense, but they can also be isolating. So I decided to do something about it.
Joining a Mother’s Group
Recently, I joined a community run local mothers' gathering, I saw it as a chance to meet other moms navigating similar identity shifts and daily challenges. During our first meeting, I took the initiative to gather everyone’s information and create a WhatsApp group chat, hoping it would lead to a sense of connection and camaraderie.
From there, I proposed a meet-up: coffee at a local café, followed by a walk in the gorgeous Sydney summer. A bunch of people agreed, a few couldn’t make it, and a few simply didn’t respond. I knew planning something with new moms would be like herding cats—babies are unpredictable, and hourly schedules with a newborn can be chaotic—but I stayed optimistic.
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The day of the meet-up came, and I arrived at the café, baby in pram, and a fully stocked nappy bag in tow, slightly nervous but hopeful. I reserved a table, checked my phone for updates, and waited.
12:45 pm our scheduled meet-up time passed. Then 1:00. Then 1:10. Still, no one. I tried to remind myself of the chaos of new mom schedules, but sitting there, alone with my baby, was humbling.
Finally, at 1:25, another mom arrived. I was relieved to see her and grateful she came. But that initial stretch of waiting, the awkwardness of reserving a table for a group that didn’t materialise, was a stark reminder of how vulnerable making new connections can feel—and how often it doesn’t go as planned.
Loneliness Is an Epidemic
It’s easy to view this experience being stood up as demoralising. However, experiences like this (putting yourself out there and falling flat) are not unique, and often they’re no-one’s fault. In the digital age with social media, loneliness is a pervasive problem where we have the most connectivity of any generation in the past, with far less connections. Loneliness can impact everyone without discriminating age, gender, or culture.
For new moms, I feel as if the isolation can be particularly acute. You’re navigating an entirely new chapter of life, filled with endless questions and challenges, and it’s easy to feel like you’re doing it all alone.
The worst thing about loneliness is that it thrives in silence. It grows when we stop reaching out, stop trying, stop risking the awkwardness of connection.
Why We Need to Keep Trying
Sitting in that café, I could have reacted in two ways. I could have let the sting of rejection convince me it wasn’t worth the effort and let it turn me off trying again. It would have been easier to retreat, to stick to texts and online mom forums instead of putting myself out there. But the truth is, we need to keep trying.
Creating opportunities for connection isn’t just about avoiding loneliness—it’s about showing up for ourselves. Yes, not everyone will show up. Yes, it can feel awkward, even embarrassing, when your plans don’t pan out. Adults have different priorities and tolerance for social invitations at any given time. But even one connection—one mom who joins you for coffee, one person who says, “I get it”—can make the effort worthwhile.
Even when plans fail, there’s value in the effort. The act of reaching out sends a message—not just to others, but to yourself—that you are actively fighting loneliness.
Keep Showing Up
If you’ve ever felt the sting of loneliness, know this: we’ve all been there. And the best way to combat it is to keep trying, even when it feels hard. Host the coffee date, send the text, start the group chat. Of course, not every effort will lead to instant connection, but some (however rarely) will. And those connections can make all the difference.
Loneliness may be an epidemic but I believe connection is the cure. And the only way to find it is to keep showing up. Even if it means reserving a table for six and ending up with just one other person and a baby—it’s still a start.
