My New Rules for Life
In the past three years, I have:
Left my corporate job of 10 years
Underwent brain tumour removal and recovery
Fallen pregnant and prepared to welcome a new soul into the world
These major life events have taught me more about what truly matters—and what doesn’t. (Plot twist: the things I used to stress about, I don’t anymore. The things I once overlooked have now become my top priorities.)
Life has a way of shaking us up, often in the most unexpected ways. Here's what I've learned and how I’ve reframed my mindset and values:
1. Don’t Define Yourself by ‘What You Do’ (But Do Define Yourself by Your Actions)
For many years, my sense of identity and self-worth were tightly woven into my career and job role. The job I did, the company I worked for, and my performance were the markers by which I measured my value. External validations fuelled my drive, making me work harder and faster — but at what cost? They distracted me from the things that were truly important: building a community of like-minded people, spending quality time with those that matter, and making a positive impact on the environment.
Walking away from the corporate world allowed me to step back, reassess, and reclaim my time and actions. I’ve learned to find purpose in the process of healing, to realign my actions with my values, and to focus on the things that bring genuine fulfillment to my body and soul. Success is no longer defined by accolades or pay checks, but by the authenticity of my actions and the impact they have on my life and others.
2. Prioritise the People Who Matter (Not the Ones Who Only Show Up for the Good Times)
In our youth, we’re drawn to the thrill of fun and novelty in relationships. We often equate charisma with value and overlook quieter, more enduring traits in favour of excitement. But as life throws challenges our way, we realise that charisma does not equate to compassion or care.
During my toughest moments—depression, career shifts, surgery, recovery, and the uncertainty that followed—it wasn’t the people I used to have fun with who showed up. It was the ones who held strong values, who expressed empathy, and who were willing to step outside of their own concerns to offer support. I’ve learned to place greater value on people’s actions, kindness, and integrity rather than superficial charm or convenience. The people who stay through the hard times are the ones worth investing time and energy in.
3. Health Is Wealth (Every Decision Should Add to Your Longevity)
Throughout my twenties, I struggled with an eating disorder and anxiety, much of which stemmed from unprocessed trauma from the previous decade. While none of us choose the cards that life hands us, the weight of those experiences can shape us just as deeply as if we had made those choices ourselves.
True health is far more than good nutrition, exercise, or skincare. It’s about how we process life's difficulties, how we heal from past wounds, and how we strengthen our sense of self-worth and identity. It’s about reducing the stress that wreaks havoc on our bodies and minds and minimising the cycle of self-blame (or blame of others). The healthier our internal world, the more resilient we become—and the better equipped we are to live long, fulfilling, and resilient lives.
4. Slow Is Smooth, Smooth Is Fast (Immediate Gratification Isn’t the Goal)
In today’s world, it’s so easy to feel like we’re always behind. Social media constantly bombards us with images of success, causing us to compare our progress to every man and his dog. But while nice, I’ve come to realise that fast isn’t the goal anymore. After all, life is long, and we have plenty of time to move the needle in a meaningful direction.
As long as we are moving forward in alignment with our values, we’re doing enough. We don’t need to be the next big celebrity or child prodigy to be successful. Life is about learning, sharing, and evolving at our own pace. Progress, no matter how slow, is still progress. It’s about the smooth and steady work of building something authentic that matters to us.
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These experiences have reshaped how I approach life, and allowed my to show kindness and compassion to my Type-A self. By focusing on intentional actions, prioritising meaningful relationships, and fostering a healthy, balanced outlook, I’m learning to live more fully and authentically. And as I prepare to welcome our child into the world, I hope to instill these same values in the next generation.
