Freedom and Change
Freedom is what we do with what is happening to us.
That’s a quote from my yoga teacher a few days ago that I have been pondering. Life is complicated and we each have so many roles and responsibilities that can seem to weigh us down. Life can seem like a cycle of paying bills, cleaning and supporting family and friends. We can easily frame a narrative of self-victimisation, living pay check to pay check and having to prioritise and sacrifice our desires.
Sigmund Freud, an Austrian neurologist (and founder of psychoanalysis as a form of treatment for mental illnesses), said that a person needs two things for happiness. These are “work and love, love and work”. Yet so many of us connect work with unwanted responsibilities and a duty, that we may not connect with.
Of course, many of us find ourselves in situations where we simply don’t connect with the work that we do. We don’t enjoy it, don’t feel fulfilled or energised by the tasks or the industry. We misconstrue good work benefits, or a fun office vibe as a trade-off for the emptiness we feel by staying in the job.
That’s how I lost my freedom, and ability to stand up for myself. I stayed in an environment (that had a lot I had to be grateful for), but that wasn’t fuelling my need to be creative or work on topics and areas that invigorated me. That gave me the time to discover myself, and the world outside the confines of the culture.
I found my freedom, when I decided to leave my structured tech job and explore being in the world. I've met such a diverse range of people from different community spaces and groups and it’s humbled me to be in challenging situations with people from walks of life with different communication styles and ideologies. I would never have been in these situations at Google, or any of my previous companies where the culture helped us predict what to expect and how to respond. It’s a crazy world out there, and part of the beauty is the diversity and breadth of experiences.
Going back to the quote from my Yoga Teacher, I see it as the opposite of freedom to continue down a path due to career momentum or filial responsibilities. We cannot control what we face and the cards we are dealt (in fact it’s foolish to think we can control much outside of ourselves), but we can control our actions and decisions. Ultimately our freedom is tied to our ability to choose a path that is right for our own circumtances.
Real talk: the last few months for me have been difficult and I’ve had a lot of false starts and delays in my overall writing habits, but I enjoy the ability and opportunity to do what I love. It’s something I find value and connection with. Something I think can help others, and is cathartic for me.
In the moments, I’m not feeling productive enough, driven enough or enough in general, I remind myself of everything that I am grateful for, and the decision I made that has given me so much freedom and joy.
It’s a reminder for me that we need to be kind to ourselves and slow down. Softness and love can help us make decisions that are right for us. These decisions can and will lead to change.
Sending out lots of well wishes to you.
Ro
