Why I am leaving Google.
My final day as a Google Employee (Googler) was September 16, 2022. Ironically - or perhaps fittingly - it was also my birthday. Birthday’s are often a sort of pseudo-New-Years for me, where I reflect, set resolutions and try to make incremental changes. Like for many, Covid spurred me to do that far more regularly and accentuated my deep need for more creativity, challenge and purpose in my life. At a time when drawstrings are tightening and economies are preparing for the worst, I’ve gained the courage to leave my job.
Over the past half-decade here, I’ve grown and developed beyond measure. Without a doubt, I’m a different person from the young and independent 23 year old that first walked through the revolving glass doors, who revelled at the sunlit waterfront office in one of Sydney’s oldest suburbs. I’ve strode across the majestic Pyrmont bridge over 2000 times, where 20 some-odd flags dance in harmony to the Harbour head winds. Hot Tip: With a killer tune on blast (preferably through noise cancelling earphones), you get to be in sync with the beat of the city. Walk the bridge over multiple summers, and you’ll get what I mean. You feel small, but connected to something big. Yeah, it really is a special part of Sydney, and Googlers are blessed.
Inside the safe confines of the office, I’ll miss overlooking the ripples of light reflecting on the water, the magazine spread furniture that scatter the office. From the comforts and ease of being in the office, you’d sometimes look out and your mind would wonder what it would be like to own one of those multi-million dollar yachts that grace Casino wharf. Visualising yourself stretched out on the nose of the boat, maybe your day dream would contain a tray of half lobsters, being fed a grape, carrying a vino in the glorious crisp sun. A few moments living the good life, then the analytical brain would kick in to justify why that would be a horrible idea. The maintenance, day to day operating costs, staffing needs and petrol costs. It’s not worth owning something that flashy, oh and I have a trix to fix; I’d turn my head back to the screen.
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The decision to move away from a stable, resource-filled and comfortable job is… just plain idiotic - I know. There are a number of factors that have ultimately swayed my decision. The desire to create something with my own name on it is one. The search to find more meaning and genuine mentors is another.
There was always a reason to stay; financial security, job stability, juicy projects, my team, a great manager. Then of course, the free coffee, great food, health care, the stunning office furniture… And yet, as long as I kept justifying reasons to stick around and stay ‘comfortable’, I could see the flash forward to my predictable future. An eternity of ticking off tasks and ‘playing the game’, but I would be in the exact same spot and regretful. I have decided to pull my head out of the sand, move desserts completely and jump into the unknown. Who knows maybe this ostrich will end up in St Tropez.
I am really so grateful for this company that helped me relocate to Singapore and then when I needed to move back for personal reasons, brought me back to Sydney with a new role. Back in Sydney now, I’m spending quality time with my parents, I’ve moved in with my partner and I’ve been writing a book. I have the opportunity now, to realise a life-long dream to be a published author. Over the years, my priorities and values have been bruised, battered and reformed, where working away with no development, prickly people (no matter the pay) and limiting mindsets can no longer be tolerated. I’m challenging myself and each of you to think bigger and carry forward a mindset of abundance. At the risk of sounding trite, tomorrow is not guaranteed, so I can no longer suppress the desire to try something new, creative and vulnerable.
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The world is big. The issues are bigger. Between the harsh confrontation of climate change, a pandemic, wars in the news, many of us are plagued looking for meaning in work and life. I’ve now decided that I need to create something personally meaningful to me. For me right now, that is writing my book which is helping me process societal biases, racism, mental disorders and vulnerability…
There’s a point when you begin to solely value efficiency, outputs, data-driven decision making, that you realise, you’ve forgotten what makes you, you. With this chapter now closing, I’m on a new path to reignite my passions, redesign my life, stay in touch with people I actually want to surround myself with. Who knows, after this detour I may find my way back to another corporate gig. But I know for sure, the experience and insights I gain from being on the outside, may be hard - but won’t be wasteful. Perhaps the best decision I make. I won’t know until I try.
So Google, Thank you. Au Revoir - and see you around!
