Day 21: Stop Floundering: How To Deal with Overwhelm
Usually when we have a lot of competing priorities with work and life, we can easily fall into a feeling of being overwhelmed. The nature of being overwhelmed, is dealing with more than we are capable of and not knowing how to proceed. This is usually because the list of tasks and demands feel endless and we have no clear priority or strategy on how to manage them. Some of us try to fend off each item like a Master in Fruit Ninja, unfortunately missing some of the fruits along the way. Sometimes when we are too reactive, we may accidentally explode a bomb. Some of us shut down when overwhelmed, preferring to be ignorant of the environment until we are ready to resurface and face the music (or not). There is no right or wrong/ good or bad way, but there are intentional strategies that we can each reach to when feeling overwhelmed that will lead to better outcomes for you.
It can creep up on us ever so suddenly. Unfortunately, it's in these moments, where our critical voice often takes the opportunity to question us where it hurts, leading us to thoughts of "Am I capable enough?", "Why can't I just deal with it?", "What's wrong with me?". Shut that voice down. Identifying that you are overwhelmed is a powerful awareness piece and stops these self-limiting thoughts from ever arising. It's about catching the anxiety or feelings of overwhelm when they arise, and using it as knowledge to make conscious changes. Even if you perceive the same workload and were able to manage all your responsibilities this time last year, we need to accept that our bandwidth and state is different moment to moment. Look at the current situation critically, chances are, things around you have shifted (new job, new relationship, family health issues, lack of sleep...), why would you expect yourself to be exactly the same? What may have felt manageable at one point, may no longer be attainable, and that's okay. The world continues to change and so should you.
The way I've approached overwhelm has evolved as I've gotten older and realised what is important to me. I used to "knuckle down" and just get sh*t done without regard for my health or intentionality for my energy or time. Nowadays, as I've navigated myself away from burnout, I've learnt how to identify if the root of my anxiety is caused by being overwhelmed. In these moments, I acknowledge that I'm overwhelmed and do something differently.
We all deal with being overwhelmed differently, but it's useful to have tools to turn to. By learning how to identify and approach overwhelm, you are able to empower yourself and stop yourself from floundering. Here are my tips on how to navigate yourself out of this state.
Now, let's dive in.
Put It On Paper
Our minds can only process and capture so much. Not only that, our minds are famous for catastrophising and exaggerating the importance of each task. We may think that missing a deadline, or being unable to finish a task will be the end of the world. Chances are, not all tasks are equally important or urgent. The simple act of writing it down or listing it on paper, helps us to visualise the plethora of what we are dealing with, and help to prioritise the actions we need to take.
Once we can visualise everything that is overwhelming us, we can prioritise the items in rank order, or use a tool such as the 'Einsenhower Matrix' to prioritise what needs to be done. Schedule the unimportant things for a specific time in your calendar for a later time.
Break Things Down
Sometimes, we are overwhelmed as we are working towards huge goals or milestones that seem unattainable. These are tasks that may seem singular ("write a book", "organise a party") but actually need to be broken down to smaller manageable chunks.
Last year, my partner and I managed to organise a Wedding in 2 months. It seemed like a mammoth task and there were so many things to do. It was only when we broke down each task into actionable tasks and grouped them into similar tasks that we were able to get into the zone of organising/ planning and not be overwhelmed by the number of actions that needed to be done.
Narrow Your Focus
Focus on what you can control. A lot of unwarranted worries and anxieties like to latch on to our tangible list of actions. See which ones are out of your control and let those items go. Things like how others perceive us, or how you can create more impact are not in your control and adding undue stress to you. Focus on the actionable tasks that you have prioritised to make changes. If you have stakeholders you need to impress, you can take them into consideration when you are not in a state of being overwhelmed.
Be Clear To Stakeholders
If you've promised more then you can deliver, be clear about this and communicate to the people invested. Many of us are guilty of putting additional pressure on ourselves, not wanting to let people around us down. The act of being transparent and authentic about what you are dealing with will lift a load off your shoulders, and likely earn you rapport and trust from the people you're being honest with. On a personal level, it may mean telling your partner, you're feeling overwhelmed and need some time to sort things out yourself. This transparency allows them to understand what you are dealing with, and maybe even help you.
Step Away
Take a break and come back with a clearer mind. Sometimes being overwhelmed leads to amplified feelings of stress and anxiety and the best thing we can do for ourself is remove ourselves from the situation. In these moments you can sit and breathe, exercise, have a cup of tea. Anything that helps to shift the focus and reset our pallet.
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Being overwhelmed is a self limiting place to be and can be debilitating for many of us. But it doesn't have to be - we can make conscious changes to bring clarity into our lives and prioritise what needs to be done. The first step is knowing and acknowledging when we are overwhelmed. This allows us to make conscious changes to our state. We all deserve to operate from an empowering state of mind.
