Day 16: The 3 Things I Do When I’m Lacking Confidence
Having immediate access to the worlds highlight reels and accomplishments can be demotivating and have the complete opposite effect to confidence building. With so much technology and endless resources available to us, there is a biased expectation that we need to be and should be far more productive than we are. But we are not machines, and we each have our own unique skill sets and experiences that define our lives. We need to be okay with observing and reflecting, instead of forcing output at every opportunity.
Of course, long term self-confidence comes from knowing our goals, following through and being honest about where we are. But I know that on a daily basis, our confidence can wane as a result of slow progress, expectations or comparisons. When we question our ability and doubt ourselves, we are discounting our value and potential. This can lead to a spiral of negative rumination, self talk and inability to remain present, losing more opportunities to turn the ship around. It's these moments that we need to take back our power and consciously change our states.
It takes will-power to engage the effort and energy to reset our selves, but the more we practice it the better able we are to take ownership of our belief in ourselves and help us to monitor our moods and energy levels.
Here are three things I do when I'm less than confident:
Cook something: The parameters and focus that cooking creates can help to bring us into the present. I find the chopping of a carrot or mixing of a batter therapeutic and focus inducing. As the dish assembles, it's considered a small win, and helps me to forget about the doubt and negative beliefs. An added bonus is that you are creating something that will further fuel your mind and body. Other forms of this for me are writing, drawing a picture or being crafty. All these activities give you the power to create something from scratch and see the fruits of your labor.
Move and Breathe: Nothing helps to restore our sense of self more than breath and body alignment. The act and rhythm of moving our body and breathing can help to stop the rumination and negative thought patterns. We spend an imbalanced amount of time in our minds, which is where the doubt creeps in. Movement helps us to come back to our tasks with new level of focused energy and purpose. Someone once said to me, “no-one, I repeat, no-one can be unhappy when they are dancing”. I can vouch for that. For those not willing to give dance a chance, a walk, or a power pose can serve the same purpose of bringing attention back to the body and out of the mind.
Read a book or watch some ‘trash’: Taking our mind away from our own lives and what we perceive our current limitations to be, can help us to see things with a fresh perspective. Sometimes, focusing on another characters perseverance and progress can motivate us to continue to face our own. If not a book, take this as free license to watch some light hearted ‘trashy TV’ to regain perspective or a stand up comedy show for some dark humor. Laughing at the situations presented release those good endorphins that help us to let go of what we are holding on to. Nothing like some comedic relief.
In all the above, the simple act of switching up our attention can have an invigorating effect on our mental health. Confidence is the act of trusting ourselves and knowing our value. Sometimes it takes stepping away from our current state of mind to find that again.
Get out of your own way, know your value.
